I have often wanted a script to hand to the people in my life so that they would know how best to respond to the conversation weʼre either having or are about to have. Iʼd have my lines, theyʼd have theirs, and by the end of each conversation, things would be clearer, cleaner, happier, funnier. Itʼd be like a manual for relationships, but better; it would have drama, comedy and the perfect balance of wit and wisdom. Plus great scenery and a fab soundtrack. I would understand and be understood.

Movies and books have done this to me, of course. Things are always so perfectly balanced in a scripted dialogue on page or screen. Thereʼs conflict and hurt, for sure, but itʼs always followed by either an internal monologue of revelation or a montage of actions moving toward positive character development; things are always better at the end of the story than they are at the beginning.

And so, even as most of me understands this is ridiculous, unattainable, and perhaps a teensy bit unhealthy, part of me still makes up dialogues in my head, especially for people with whom I have the deepest and longest-standing conflicts; the conflicts around which I can no longer see hope for change. Relationships are messy.
I had a friend that said that in life, if you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go together. I think God knew weʼd need a concrete illustration of the need for relationships when Jesus became man and gathered around himself a group of friends. Ill-equipped to handle the facts of Jesus at times, they knew the truth of him – they knew him. The relationship with Jesus was not without its ups and downs, but it seems to have been worth it for them. I think Jesus may have been able to accomplish more tasks during his days if heʼd been a loner, but that really wasnʼt the point.

In her book about life, faith and art, “Walking on Water”, Madeleine LʼEngle talks a bit about the concept that weʼre born knowing Truth. The truth that God is and loves us; that some things that canʼt be proven as fact are true; water can be walked on and faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains. When weʼre young, we havenʼt yet learned how to think as rational adults and are, therefore, more connected with truth than with fact. Adults connect far more often with fact and reality, and while there are lots of good reasons we teach our children to think with logic and reason, I think something sweet and vital can be lost along the way.

When weʼre little, before weʼre taught by experience and by absorbed philosophy (be it direct or indirect), we know in every fiber of our being that the only thing that matters is relationship. We live not for power or prestige or to be seen as competent, but to love and be loved. We havenʼt yet forgotten that thatʼs the only purpose in life.
Growing in relationship with God and others is a process of remembering and of letting go. By letting go of the fear of being hurt, we remember that thereʼs grace for our pain, as well as for the pain we inflict on others. We remember that the point, as Bruce said, is to love and be loved by God and the people around us.

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*Note: If you wish, you can look up this and other Bible passages online at youversion.com
Copyright © 2010 Dana Demick