I know a couple. We’ll call them Billy and Jane. They fell in love and eventually married. They thought marriage was all about finding someone who would make them happy. Two years in, they both decided they married the wrong person because if they had married the right person, it wouldn’t have been so difficult and their spouse would simply be making them happy. Instead they were exposing some of the not so pretty things about one another and each so greatly disappointed with the other. This isn’t how marriage is supposed to work, they both thought. Or was it?

Don’t hear me wrong—I am not proposing that marriage is meant to be painful, difficult, and unhappy. I am only saying that their idea and expectations of marriage were not rooted in Reality. And just because they believed their “reality,” [that their spouse and marriage was meant to make them happy] didn’t make it true, and didn’t make marriage function that way any more than me deciding I don’t actually need sleep will make that true. It just isn’t going to work as anyone can tell you that has ever been around me after some level of sleep deprivation. [seriously, I truly cannot function. I stumble into walls, don’t speak, and I know it is pathetic, but I kind of whimper. I am totally useless.] But back to my point…if marriage is actually designed for oneness, for sharing life with someone, serving and preferring someone else, for exposing some of our mess and yet loving and gracing one another in such a way that you are becoming more like Jesus—if that is how it is actually meant to work, then it will work that way whether we buy into it or not. And if we did not sign up for that version of marriage, then we will be greatly disappointed, even thinking something is terribly wrong.

Now here’s another story. I used to tutor a kid in honors calculus. Let’s face it, if you’ve got what it takes to be in honors calculus, how much tutoring do you really need? You are certainly not mathematically challenged. So you might think, aside from the calculus part, better to tutor the honors student than the kid in the remedial class, right? But that is not so. I cannot tell you how many times I wanted to thump this kid with my pencil! A typical session would go something like this…he starts working on a problem, begins to make an error—not a little computation error but an error that demonstrates he isn’t getting the concept, so I interrupt and begin to instruct and teach, and I am quickly cut off by long repetitions of statements like, “ok, ok, ok.” Or “I get it, I get it, I get it.” Or the most ironic, “I know, I know, I know.” He was a next to impossible student because he truly thought he “had it.” Give me the kid, any day of the week, that is absolutely clueless but knows it and would be the first to tell you. Now that, I can work with.

And lastly, a story about my girls. They are four and two years old, and God speaks to me all the time through them. Even if you don’t have children, have you ever watched them with envy? My four year old, just about every morning, wakes up and says, “What are we going to do today?!” I think to myself, I cannot imagine walking that blindly through life where every day is just a blank slate waiting to be filled, always happy and excited when you get to Saturday morning and wake up to the surprise that Daddy is home. They live so fully in the present with such simplicity because they have a pretty simple orientation to life. They trust in and depend on us. They believe that we will be there, we will keep them safe, provide for them, give them good things, and that our love for them is bigger than the sun. It’s secure and unchanging.

Even their faith in God is simple and yet profound. I have been in my first trimester of pregnancy and oh so sick. Every time I am lying in bed or barfing over the toilet, my two year old comes to me and tells me she wants to pray for me. And every time she prays the exact same thing. “Thank you, God, for Mommy feeling better.” Then she looks up at me with the biggest grin and asks with such confidence, “You better now, Mommy?” Now of course we think, 2 year old…that’s cute; that’s sweet. But that is the simplicity, even naivety of a child. But what is profound to me is this simplicity is rooted in the fact that she so trusts what we have told her about God, that He cares for us; He hears our prayers; He is powerful and good; and so she is quicker than any of us to turn to God and to expect good from God. And sure they are kids, but I can’t help but watch them and long to return to the place where knowing the character and love of the One who cares for me is my defining Reality and leads to such trust and dependency that I am free to let go of my burdens, to experience peace and joy, to be in the moment and truly Live as I am meant to live. I “get it” at times, but I am quick to lose sight of it; quick to move on.

So here is the point of all my stories. What we think is “reality” isn’t always Reality. What we think we have figured out, we rarely understand fully. When we say, “I know, I know. I got it, I got it,” we really don’t get it; we’re only fooling ourselves. But there is a way to understanding and navigating life—there is a defining Reality that is fundamental to all of life.

So as we contemplate the gospel for the coming months, ask God to show you what is Real. We will never fully get the depth and richness of the gospel. There is nothing greater or bigger to move on to. There is no problem that we have that is not addressed in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus—maybe not to the extent that we want, or the answer that we want, but it is enough; He is enough. So as we sit in the gospel, let us anchor ourselves here. Let us pray a new revelation of how the gospel defines our life and what it is we are returning to.

And if you haven’t noticed, we now have a comment option with the Take It Furthers. We would love for you to join in the conversation—to hear your thoughts and journey together through this series.

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*Note: If you wish, you can look up this and other Bible passages online at youversion.com
Copyright © 2010 Holly Norton