Last year, when Kay Yow (Women’s Basketball Coach at NC State) died, this description of her character planted itself in my mind: “She had such a great way of stopping and taking the time and making [people] feel like they were the most important people in the world at that moment.” (The Charlotte Observer, Feb. 19, 2009)

In a heartbeat, I knew that couldn’t be said about me. I’m surrounded by people from morning until night, and, even if it’s not always apparent, I remain in a state of distraction—focused on the next event to come. But this description of Yow’s focus on the person of the moment caught my attention. How would life change if, instead of steeling myself in one moment for the challenges of the next, I allowed the people around me to be the center of my attention?

And really–I’m not even talking so much about “people” here as I am the moment itself. Yow interacted with the moment rather than pushing through it. And someone (and I’m sure more than just one person) observed that about her. That is living life. Sometimes we attempt to manage life. Or control it. Or spend our time reacting to it. But living it? That’s what life in Christ is about. What keeps us from it?

Fear of Failure
When I was three years old, I completely lost interest in coloring. My mom had such beautiful, even, and softly colored results and, as hard as I tried, I couldn’t emulate her art. So, I stopped coloring. You could ask her—to my mom, it’s THE childhood event that best captures my view of life. If failure’s a possibility, I’d rather not try at all. I quit piano lessons because I knew someone who could play better than me. It’s ok. You can laugh. I do now because having a child, and especially a boy, has required a mental shift. I cannot fathom refusing to ride the big slide at the park, kick (or miss) the soccer ball, or coloring—just because I’m afraid I may not get it right every time.

Perfectionism is a deceptive idol. In a slightly innocuous way, perfectionism just sucks a little joy out of life. But it affects our lives much more virulently—our view of “correct” or “success” becomes an image of our own estimation.

How DO you feel about failure? Can you identify places where a fear of failure prevents you from living out your calling?

Fear of Rejection
So, say the fear of failure is conquered and we stand ready to face the world, live out our calling, and live life in Christ. But we’re still faced with people. And those people may not count us worthy. Just this week, I had two separate conversations with friends whom I’d consider to be very confident individuals, who expressed something like this in our conversation: I care more than I’d like to about what people think about me. There’s nothing shocking in the sentiment, just its expression. Because—I’m sure we all feel that way on some level or have made a similar observation of ourselves at some point in time. We all want to be accepted. And anything that threatens acceptance allows this fear of rejection to creep in.

But at this moment, at this “crossroads”—as Bruce put it—between fear and life—this is where the Gospel enters. We are God’s sons and daughters. And He goes with us.

What would it mean for God to go with you?
If we want to work out our calling, we have to be rooted in Christ through the Gospel because of God’s love, and we root ourselves there through discipline and obedience. I won’t apologize for those last two words. I won’t try to make it sound cool and new—because discipline and obedience are time-tested practices. Prayer and meditation intimately connect us to God. Reading the Bible and worship nurture the relationship. Service and fasting move both ourselves and unnecessary parts of our lives out of the way. We become sure of the love of God and our place in His story when we actually allow our lives to fall into motion with His. (Ephesians 3:14-21)

Consider reading through Hebrews this week. It’s a letter in the New Testament about our new life in Christ, discipline, and calling.

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*Note: If you wish, you can look up this and other Bible passages online at biblegateway.com
Copyright © 2010 Jessica Ramsey